Trust me, this is going somewhere.
Years ago, I caught what must have been some sort of pnuemonia. I’d gone to an outdoor concert – stuck with the “third one is the lonely seat, so deal with it” ticket – and a couple of days later was coughing so much I could hardly breathe.
I didn’t go to the doctor. It wasn’t because of any insurance situation where nowadays I’d get some hashtag going, I was just raised to believe you didn’t go to the doctor unless you were at death’s door. It is what it is.
I was in college (don’t worry, it was a bad school and I was a bad student, so you can leave your presumptions about my intelligence in place), and when I was laid up, I spent the weekend alone watching basic cable. I couldn’t sleep one night because of the coughing, which included one period where there was blood in the phlegm, so I was watching some sort of horror marathon.
I was unable to sleep when, in the middle of the night, whatever channel it was announced they would be playing Blacula. A legendary movie that had been the source of so many jokes!
I watched it. I was in a stupor, doped up on NyQuil level medicine, and I can’t hardly remember that first viewing. This is despite the fact I can remember where I was and that I was wearing a plaid bathrobe.
Ah, memories. They never work quite the way you think they will.
All I could remember was that I loved it. I’ve long been a fan of exploitation movies, be they blaxploitation, hixploitation, or what have you. I think that it at least partly is explained by my love of slasher movies, which share a lot of structural DNA with the exploitation genre.
I watched it again years later and it was as gloriously low-budget as I remembered. I also figured out that Blacula himself had even been on Pee Wee’s Playhouse.
But with all the remakes and reboots, I wonder why Blacula hasn’t made the rounds again. It seems that the rise of culturally-conscious horror like Get Out and Us would be paving the way for a reboot/remake of a lost classic like Blacula. After all, we got a decidedly-fun sequel to Shaft. (Which I really enjoyed, for the record.)
Why leave Blacula out of the mix?
For goodness’ sake, Dracula’s had about a thousand remakes. Let’s get Mamuwalde back into the conversation!
Besides, it could pave the way as the origin story for a whole franchise of movies like the MCU. Blacula could spawn a whole host of other vampires, only to end with an Avengers: Endgame-style capper where he faces his greatest student and worst betrayer…Craigula.

P.S.
Given the topic of this post, and the fact I know how much my phone and apps are listening to me, I fully expect The Stalkwalk to show up on my Spotify playlist soon.
His undead nature would explain how he wound up on the Enterprise in the 23rd century. He could certainly live that long, and where better than deep space to hide from direct sunlight? https://images.app.goo.gl/kxAgUHp8wAPuD9Tt9
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YES! Oh how I was counting on you for this response.
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Did you have any doubt?
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