Yet Another Incredibly Controversial Movie Opinion

Time to share another controversial movie opinion. I’m going to get scorn for this one, I know.

The Goonies really isn’t that good.

I’m not going to belabor the point here. It’s fine. It was an entertainment, and there were reasonably fun bits. But it really and truly isn’t that good.

I understand why it captured the hearts of kids at the time (though to be honest I was never one of them). The 1980s had a full range of movies with gangs of kids proving to be the heroes – Stranger Things is a direct tribute to that.

It’s just that it doesn’t have half the charm that people seem to think it does. Everyone sort of keys in on Cyndi Lauper’s theme song (also underwhelming, to be honest), and picks favorite moments. But it’s largely nostalgic remembrance of bits as opposed to love for a really engaging movie.

Something that unfortunately happens with Richard Donner movies, though, happens here too. The ending is really flat. It’s been a function of his movies since the 1970s, and extends even through the Lethal Weapon franchise. For some reason, he seems to have trouble putting the perfect finish on a movie.

His movies are still good! In the case of stuff like Superman: The Movie, they’re pretty incredible. It’s just that the endings tend to just…exist here and there. In the case of his tremendously successful work, it’s not nearly as noticeable as it is on The Goonies.

So there you go. If you wanted someone to yell at today, I just jumped in front of you with Jazz Hands and dared you.

“Hey youuuuuu guuuyyyyyys! kesseljunkie is riiiiggggght!”