I guess I’ve remained committed to using #Inktober to remain open about sharing drawings.
This is for the third prompt of #Inktober2020, “Bulky.”
This is where my mind went first. I’m not trying to make any sort of statement, necessarily. Just where my mind goes. We’ve become bulky people who buy in bulk and just become bulkier. I’m pretty sure that people’s emotional reactions to 2020 – the year they were told they weren’t essential and were sure to die – have made gluttony the national pastime.
Honestly, though, mind probably went here because all my life I’ve struggled with my weight. I’m doing pretty well now, but I’ve been up and down the scale a few times in my life. I’ve never been obese (at least not as I’d consider it, though I think the official medical charts say otherwise), but I’ve been pretty heavy at times. I’m a natural heavyweight who likes to eat.
I was teased pretty heavily by some of my extended family while I was growing up, too. I had “friends” who made it no real secret what they thought of how I looked, though it was usually stolen snickering at my expense.
I know that my personality was the desire to be the genial, smiling guy that made people happy; it still is most days. No small part of that was the desire to “own the narrative” as it were.
I became very adept at self-deprecation, specifically because if I made a joke about myself it took the steam out of anyone else trying to make a joke about me. It was a way to disarm them.
The funny side note to that is that it also helped my chances with girls throughout my whole dating history. They liked a sense of humor, and they liked a guy who wasn’t too high on himself. Well, the girls I dated liked that at least. (I also have to acknowledge both my father and Han Solo for teaching me how to deliver a charming smile now and then.)
But along the way it helped me to remember to be gentle, too. I know what it’s like to have people rag on you for something that you didn’t want to define you. It’s a tough world, and you have the choice either to make it tougher or take it easier on others. I’ve not got a perfect record on that, but I try to keep that in mind.
Anyway, that’s where “bulky” took me. I didn’t expect to be quite so self-revelatory here, but it is what it is. Let’s see where tomorrow goes.
I guess I’ll make this my tag line at the end of all of these pictures which I post: If you like it, great. If you don’t, that’s fine too. I’m just trying to put it out there for the sake of putting it out there.
If you want to learn about Inktober, here’s the site: Inktober.com.