Nobody Cares About Your Diet

I should preemptively qualify this blog by saying, “The only person who needs to care about your diet is you.” There’s my effort to avoid the criticisms from someone’s quick read of a harmless blog.

I understand everyone wanting a support system. I’m not shaming anyone, except for that one person who knows what they did. We’re all still ashamed on their behalf.

I’m not coming from a dismissive place, either. I’ve worked on my own weight and fitness ever since I realized binge drinking and heavy cigarette smoking were things that weren’t helping my longevity.

So this isn’t about people not needing to watch what they eat, or saying that healthy lifestyles are a fad, or any of the typical garbage reads & hot takes that happen on the Internet.

I’m talking about the tedious, tendentious topic of diets. I’m talking about how boring they’ve become in our daily conversations.

It’s a conversational blight in any given social space. It’s as boring as people who discuss their gym memberships, workout routines, or latest sleep fad they’ve chosen to follow. It’s as engaging as hearing about a new blanket.

The thing that makes it worse is that the only people who engage in the conversation are other people who are already converted, and want to talk about their own diet. Like political screeds on social media, the only aim is to validate choices by looking for agreement.

It gains momentum from there. No one wants to be outdone with what they’re doing to look better, feel better, or be better. It quickly becomes a passive-aggressive contest, and the people who don’t want to listen desperately search for other points of interest. They pray for headphones or, like an animal caught in a trap, consider removing a limb to escape the trap.

The worst part is that you can’t even fire off a zinger to shut it down, the way you could with a “hot take” discussion about the latest event movie. You can’t shout “no spoilers” as someone prepares to divulge how they’ve decided to cook their food while on a new supplement.

So let me repeat myself from earlier. The only person who needs to care about your diet is you. It’s great if you’re on one, it’s fine if you’re not, and we all love you no matter what. Well, except for the people who don’t love you, but a diet won’t change that.

I’m just pleading for people in general to pick more interesting topics in the public square. Perhaps we could all discuss the weather.

None of this applies reflexively to me, either. I always jump into group conversations with minutiae about movies.

That’s never boring for anyone.

5 thoughts on “Nobody Cares About Your Diet

  1. Yeah, buuuuuuttttttttt, my recent weight loss has been called “inspirational” by quite a few of my 1,500+ Facebook “friends.” It’s inspired many people to get on the right track, and the obvious first question I get from everyone is, “What did you do to lose the weight?” Diet is the most important change. Personally, I hate talking about any of it, but it’s precisely because so many people actually requested it that I did so for over a year. I slowly backed away from it and am relieved not to be doing it, but that actually felt selfish of me for quite some time.

    In short, your blog is stupid, and so is your face.

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    1. My face *is* stupid, but you’re also talking about a different situation than I’m discussing in the blog. People are asking you for information, and *requesting* to know about things & what you did. You’re not just walking in to every conversation and starting conversations about your Keto program and how your life is so much better.

      Your argument has been rejected, Mr. Hutz.

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  2. I’m reading this post as I eat my newly food processed, homemade hummus complete with carrot sticks…and all I can think is, “this guy sounds like he would really go for this recipe.”

    Also, I audibly laughed at that “no spoilers” bit.

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    1. I know you’re joking about the recipe, but I do love hummus!

      …just let’s not try to get me to consume “beet powder” or “beet juice”…or beets themselves. I don’t know what torture diet that sprang from but I’ve heard plenty otherwise.

      And anyone who tries to cut my bread consumption needs to be prepared to *be* cut.

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