A Colossally Bad, and Therefore Inevitably Inescapable, Thing for Franchise Fans to Do

My recent blogging respite has refreshed me, and left me…on fire with a great idea! Let me explain.

Recently, someone spoke out in my presence about their desire to “see #AvengersEndgame one more time, to help it beat Avatar.” They wanted to see it again just to help push it over the edge, so to speak, and give it the all-time record for global box office ticket sales.

I responded with my typical sort of zinger, “You know you don’t get any of that money if they hit number one, right?” The thought was reiterated that they “just can’t stand” that “Avatar is number one” because they “hate” that movie and love #AvengersEndgame.

I can’t believe people say Fandom is broken!

As a quick aside, I also remember how desperately fans wanted Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace to “beat” Titanic. They also wanted Star Wars: Episode VII: The Force Awakens to “beat” Avatar.

I don’t know the specific beef that Star Wars fans have with James Cameron, but it’s pathological at this point. I half-expect to see voodoo dolls with miniature Kylo Ren lightsabers sticking in them, in these peoples’ houses.

As I kept thinking about the box office “championship,” and later while speaking to a friend about it, I realized that there’s an idea brewing in our times of crowdfunding and fan tribalism.

Fans should just buy tickets and not bother going to the movie. Just buy a ticket a day. Go if you can, or don’t go. The important thing is just to purchase the ticket.

I mean, think about it. If it’s that important that the movie you “love” is number one, there’s no reason not to do that. Then you get to have the bragging rights that you helped the movie in some way, and so part of that “victory” is yours!

A Glorious Victory

Imagine, if you will, a glorious day when someone remarks that [Insert Movie Title, Most Likely One Released by a Disney©®™ subsidiary] is “Number One in the World!” You’d be able to remark that they “couldn’t have done it” without you.

They’d ask, “How many times did you see it?”

You’d reply, “Oh, only three times…but I bought tickets for fifteen shows!”

To make it even more serious, the Studio Execs could set up an online pledge form for fans to promise to buy tickets for a certain number of shows. This would help with gross box office projections, and enable the studios to send emails with campaign appeals to remind people of where they are on their pledges.

People could upload photos of their tickets to prove their fulfillment of the commitment; like Rotten Tomatoes, we want to keep things “verified.”

As an added enticement, they could then send out limited edition pins to those who make the commitment. People love collectibles, and then they could walk around with a pin declaring that they “helped” the movie they enjoy “hit number 1”!

Imagine the treasure trove of exclusives possibly branching out from there. You could make it a tiered system where there’s a pin for the lowest level, a shirt for the next, and a special hat for those who pledge to buy tickets at the “premiere level.”

I mean, this isn’t really that far a step for people who buy tickets to four showings on opening weekend without even having seen the movie. They don’t even care about reviews or enjoyability. They just want to see it four times so they can…I don’t know…see it four times in three days for whatever reason.

One Last Alternative

Alternatively, you could just like what you like and not care whether a movie makes $2.6 Billion, or $2.7 Billion. Either way, you can rest assured that it’ll make it that much harder for a smaller film to get noticed as every multiplex makes sure to book every screen for Franchise Blockbuster Movie 12: The End of the Era Before the Next Era Starts.

And isn’t that the point?

2 thoughts on “A Colossally Bad, and Therefore Inevitably Inescapable, Thing for Franchise Fans to Do

  1. Sheesh, if everyone would just take that last alternative of yours! I’m sick of entitled fans and entitled studios, and when they’re politicized too. I want stories made sincerely for good reasons, not to make a point of milk a dead or dying idea. And I want to talk about these films in depth without running into biases that have little to do with the films themselves. Argh!

    Incidentally, the two recent movies I saw were Avengers: Endgame and the Tolkien biopic. Of the two, “Tolkien” was more interesting to me and certainly more meaningful, but most people would rather gripe about a corporate product than expose themselves to something sincere and personal.

    (And for the record I thought Endgame was ok, sometimes pretty good for what it was but entirely disposable.)

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