Luke Skywalker: (Drunken) Jedi Master


My pal Craig and I spoke at length about Star Wars and directors and optics and box office. We had a wonderful discussion at the same time about Totoro, who is apparently in The Last Jedi as a “porg.” (Go ahead, look at Totoro, then a porg, and tell him he’s wrong.)

He got to drinking, then I got to thinking.

This is what I see whenever I watch the end of Star Wars: Episode VII: The Force Awakens now.

Drunken Jedi Master

If Craig = Luke, and I know Craig as well as I do, what would then be “Luke’s” motivation for being on the water planet named for a sneeze?

The simple answer, in a word, is beer. Luke Skywalker went off to Ahch-To because he finally figured out the perfect ferment for Jedi Beer. What makes Ahch-To so special is that the water has midichlorians in it, enabling the Force users to become even more powerful,

It follows that Luke Skywalker, discovering the secret of Jedi Beer making him more powerful, would seek to keep such a special secret and planet off the charts. Monk-like, he brews small batches and drinks them himself – although apparently the porgs have to figure into it at some point too.

Frankly, that’s a part of the path I’m ready to explore yet.

In Conclusion

It kinda makes sense that Luke has gone off to brew his beer and drink it all the time, as a matter of fact. Modern Star Wars fans want these characters to reflect the rich tapestry that is the human experience, so structuring The Last Jedi to be about Luke dealing with his alcoholism makes sense. Substance abuse is a topic that’s past due to be addressed in a Star Wars work.

I’m hoping someone can screencap that paragraph and tweet it out of context in a bid for attention and validation. Thanks.

This is why I should be president of Porg School.