Am I a Horrible Person?

I had the day off today, and so I took my car in to have the oil changed and the tires rotated. Things have to get done, right?

And while in the waiting room, I realized that I am a horrible person.

The guy sitting next to me was a large guy, who had finished his soda and was proceeding through his cup of remaining ice. Chewing it loudly, one piece at a time.

Slurp. Crunch. Slurp. Crunch. Uninterrupted, unstoppable for fifteen straight minutes.

And all I could think about was how badly I wanted to slap the cup out of his hand just to get some peace and quiet. Buy him gum and tell him, you want to chew that badly, leave the rest of us out of it. Also, if you get ice in your soda, you allow yourself to be ripped off on volume, and that offends me on principle.

And so I just have to wonder, what type of horrible person gets annoyed by such a minor thing?

Apparently, me.

I don’t know. Should I be ashamed, or am I being too hard on myself?


5 thoughts on “Am I a Horrible Person?

  1. You *are* a horrible person, but not for this. If you see a bunch of paintings on the wall that are arranged in a screwed up fashion, it doesn’t bother you, but if they’re all in a row but one is just slightly tilted, it drives you nuts. Similarly, water torture (“drip, drip, drip,” not water boarding) works very well. It’s actually the little things that annoy us most (short of *really* big stuff like chopping off our limbs). Perhaps it wasn’t loud enough to warrant your violent thoughts, but obviously I can’t judge that because I wasn’t there.

    1. I will add the qualifier that thanks to my father, I have a ridiculously low tolerance for certain “table manners” (even when away from a table). Loudness was not encouraged in the kesseljunkie household. I admit to struggling with it.

  2. I think I would have wanted to slap it out of his hands as well. Especially if he was breathing excessively heavy as well which is what most large people do when they are doing something like that.

      1. I figured that’s what you what you were judging, and I hope my comment didn’t come over as judgemental of size. I just hate the slurping/heavy breathing/crunching that comes with size.

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