I know it’s been a while since I’ve written, and I specifically decided at one point to wait so I could come back strong with a blog about…my wife.
That’s right, the sensitive underbelly of my harsh nature that many friends and family have endured will once again be exposed publicly. It sounds like something for which I should be jailed, but just rely on ironic justice since I’m going to be shipped off to a dissident work camp eventually.
So without further ado, allow me to more perfectly illuminate the iron which has forged the bonds of my matrimony.
You Know the Story
Guy meets girl speed dating, gets smitten, she kidnaps his cat and inevitably they fall in love and get married.
Yes, we’re all of about one couple in the history of speed dating that’s gotten married. How do you like those odds? I suppose now that we’re at the big seven-year mark, I’m taking a pause to understand how truly insane it must have seemed to my friends. And my family. And her family.
It’s not like I hid my flaws in the beginning, either. In our five-minute speed dating conversation, I told her about how I had gone to a Spice Girls concert years prior, and though I can’t remember, it’s pretty much a lock that Star Wars was in there somewhere.
See, I wasn’t really looking for anyone at the time I met Agent Bun. I was single, living large in a studio apartment in Rockville and at least once a week went into DC and got completely hammered with my cousins. I had dropped a ton of weight, come to terms with balding and frankly was as happy as I’d been since my mother died. I felt like the future was nothing but Kessel Runs and cantinas.
Then I met her, and of all the women with whom I “connected” that night (there were five), she was the one that stuck out in my mind. I went on dates with the rest (save one) but none of them held that special spot in my heart the way she did.
We moved quickly and enjoyed a mercurial rise to marriage.
I was happy, too. I even started a new job that I loved two weeks after we got married, which eventually led to me even having the career I do now. Like dominoes, things just were falling in the order they needed.
But if I were to say it’s always been easy, that would be a lie. Talking about stuff that personal isn’t useful, though. We both know what we’ve been through and we both know what sometimes we’d like to forget.
And if I can opine here, I think that’s what’s wrong with modern divorce rates. People don’t understand that at its core, marriage kind of sucks. You have to willingly and willfully sacrifice things and experiences for the sake of others. And sometimes you have to sacrifice a little of your dignity because you weigh the outcomes and understand that you have to stay at the helm to get through the storm.
Because the clouds will break, you just have to figure out how to get past them. You also need to be willing to let God show you how to get there.
Why She’s Awesome
She’s the one who remembers what I forget. She’s the one who laughs at my insane humor, or when I “channel” our cat over long distances to let her know what it’s like being him (he’s actually a retired rapper). She’s willing to listen to far-out theories about how Locke relates to Walt, or whatever other crackpot interpretation.
She’s a loving and devoted mother, as expressively proud of our girls as they could ever hope. She puts no airs on them, no expectations, and is willing just to enjoy the perfection that is naturally them.
She’s dedicated professionally and has taught me a lot about getting the job done, doing it with dignity and keeping it in perspective.
And she’s on a London trip right now, helping this family meet its needs by sacrificing what is most precious to her – time with the girls – so that they can have as nice and comfortable life as possible given the state of the economy today.
In short, I can’t imagine life without her. Even when she’s been a test, she’s been a test that helped me understand how much better I needed to be. I don’t know who or where I’d be, as a result. I can never be grateful enough.
Hurry back home, Bun. This is finally the year I beat you in Fantasy Football.