What the Hell, Mr. Lucas?

George Lucas
Just. Make. The. Damn. Show.

OK, it’s an accepted fact that I see things from George Lucas’ perspective in a lot of ways.

He’s smart, I’m smart. He’s shy and hairy, I’m gregarious and bald. It’s like we’re flip sides of the same coin, separated only by the gulf of riches As a result, my thinking tends to line up with his.

I predicted the title ‘Revenge of the Sith’ six years before it was revealed, after all. I didn’t see ‘Attack of the Clones’ coming, but that’s an anomaly. I can get inside this guy’s head.

But there are limits to my Lucas Apologetics. And we’ve tripped over another recently.

When he says he wants to do things ‘cheaply’.

Seriously.

What. The. F***.

Seriously, Mr. Lucas? "Cheaply"? You’re worth $5 Billion and you want to do things cheaply? It’s like you’re some filmmaking parody of Ebenezer Scrooge when you say things like this, and you’ll burn a dollar to save a dime.*

You know we’re going to watch the new TV series, or at least give it a try. You know we’re going to likely buy ancillary merchandise (myself excluded, who window shops and walks away, but an editorial ‘we’ is called for).

For goodness’ sake, I’m hooked on the flipping cartoon. God only knows how much fun it’ll be to watch Vader hunt down the remaining Jedi. We’ve all wanted to see this for years.

So if you’ve got 50 scripts set, just f***ing film it. Stop toying with my emotions, man! I have a LOST-shaped hole in my TV viewing schedule, and now that I’m through with The Wire and caught up on Dexter, I’ve got The Clone Wars, South Park, Aqua Teen Hunger Force Unit Patrol Squad 1 and pretty much nothing else. That’s an hour and a half per week. Advertisers are waiting for you to bring back people like me!

Others just want me to watch more TV so I stop blogging so well much.

And if the geezer networks (CBS is lost unless this show is a crime drama, and FOX thinks Fringe is a hit, but ABC and NBC are hurtin’) had a brain, they’d be in a bidding war to distribute the show right now, and just drive the dump truck of money up to your front door.

Think of it, man. Networks are bleeding viewers to racier, sex-infused wastes of time on basic cable and HBO. You’ve got a proven commodity that will draw in both parents and kids. Open the bidding and let them have at it.

Come on, man. Just let us have it already. We want it, you’ve got it, let’s get this done.

*If I invented this, and anyone steals this from me, I’m going to Google you and kick your ass.

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One thought on “What the Hell, Mr. Lucas?

  1. I don’t know. It just seems like Lucasfilm has been making some odd choices lately. Granted, I don’t really know what it costs to produce a TV show that is of George Lucas’ caliber, but you’re right – it’s Star Wars. One would think the networks would be flooding his office with bids.

    Then again, I’ve grown skeptical of the sensibility of TV networks ever since CBS canceled “John Doe” and the remake series of “The Fugitive.”

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